My Kids Went to College, But I Forgot to Teach Them Some Basic Skills
By Amy Conroy
My kids were ready for college, but not quite ready for adulthood. This realization hit me as I watched my oldest son wave goodbye from his dorm window, surrounded by a sea of other freshmen with similar expressions of mixed excitement and trepidation.
Last week, a friend confided her concern about her recent graduate's lack of work experience, attributing it to her son's packed schedule during college. "My fail," she admitted. This got me thinking about my own parenting fails, specifically when it comes to teaching our children essential life skills.
As a small business owner, I juggled raising two sons while running my enterprise, leaving little time for everything. I offered last-minute advice as we drove them to their respective dorms: always carry your drinks (especially in the bathroom), know where the student health center is located, and sit at the front of lectures. But despite cramming in as much guidance as possible, there are still skills that slipped through the cracks.
Cleaning Up After Themselves
One area I regret not focusing on enough? Toilet cleaning. Yes, you read that right. I never handed my boys a toilet brush. They learned to wipe down sinks, vacuum, and do laundry, but the bathroom's harshest tasks were off-limits for them—and even for me at times! Instead of teaching them how to properly clean their own toilets (or at least give it a go), I took over or hired help. It should have been a gradual transition, but my squeamishness and their reluctance left this essential skill unmastered.
While statistically, toilet neglect might not cause any significant health issues, imparting these domestic duties is important for cultural assimilation and future independence. So, I'm now emphasizing the benefits of good hygiene and housekeeping to attract potential partners (and roommates!) in their college years and beyond.
Money Management 101
Another skill we didn't emphasize enough? Fiscal responsibility. We set up checking accounts and created budgets with our kids before they graduated high school, but we didn't teach them the deeper concepts of financial awareness. We should have shown them the importance of saving, budgeting, and paying off debts—not just for their future success but also as a means to navigate life's unexpected expenses.
Now, I'm determined to help them gain this knowledge (and maybe even some practical experience) so they can confidently manage their finances during and after college.